Thursday, July 4, 2013

Growth - Goodbye Qilin

Sometimes, the best part about being a teacher is noting the growth of students rather than being proud of your excellent ones. Of course, there is something to be said about how amazing it is when a student scores 100% or writes a mindblowingly insightful essay or composition. But there's also a glitter of amazing when a student who couldn't speak English or was too shy to even try in September casually wishes you a great summer and good luck with the future as you wave goodbye.

In September, I had a handful of students who were excellent. Some would say these students were even beyond excellent. They were top-notch. They were the cream of the crop and the best of the best. Then, there were kids who teetered on excellence. Then, the kids who had issues escaping the bubble of very good. Then, the kids who were clamouring to escape average or good. All of the kids were good. All of the kids could speak English. It was just about allowing them to take the risk to learn more and speak because they live in a world where perhaps this risk is not as rewarded or praised as it should be.

Enter one of my students who would perpetually straddle the average and good line. In September, there were a few occasions where she broke down in tears because she had done so badly on a test. Badly = 75%. She was scared to speak to me or ask for help. In fact, the times when she was really forced to communicate with me: telling me about a doctor's appointment or asking me about what her grade was, she'd ask one of her friends, a top student, to translate instead of trying to communicate by herself.

For some reason, I was drawn to this kid. Some teachers are programmed to love their top students and I, myself, can't say that I don't love my top kids. But there was something so charming about her and so honest about her desire to work hard and do well and I really wanted her to do well. So we worked. We worked and worked and pushed as hard as we could amongst the other floods of homework she faced with Math and Chinese and Biology and Geography. I'd help when I could, but mostly it was about pushing her to speak, ask others for help and to ask me for help when she needed it.

I think the breakthrough came at around February when she found communicating with me about homework and English was easier behind the veil of QQ, the instant messaging system here in China. That catalyst to communication allowed her to start communicating with me so easily in person. The more she talked to me during class breaks and forcing herself to talk to others in English during these breaks, the better her spoken English became.

Now, I'm not going to end this post by saying she's a clear 90% kid now. She's not. In fact, she's made a little improvement, but not so much that it'd make the September version of her proud of her classroom progress. She, however, is not the September version of her anymore. She's the July version of her and this version of her is confident where September wasn't. Who knows how long it'll take for her classwork to catch up with her newfound confidence. Maybe it won't. But all I know is that when you're thrown into the real world, people don't really look at the tests you took in school or whether you got a 78% on a test. They're going to look at whether you're confident, work hard, and try your best. And by golly, this July version of her's rocking all three of those attributes in spades. So maybe her test scores didn't grow as much as September wanted to, but this girl has grown over the past 10 months and I count myself lucky to have witnessed and been a part of it.

As a teacher, I think the most important thing for me to reflect on at the end of the year is growth, especially in an EFL/ESL classroom. How much did each student grow? Take a step back. DID each student grow? How did they grow? If you can answer yes for every student, then you've done a hell of a great job.

I'm happy to be leaving my class knowing that all of them have grown: some by a lot and some by a little. I'm happy to be leaving my class with them knowing that I care about them and I won't forget them. I just hope that they continue to grow next year, not just as language learners because that's boring. I hope they grow into young men and women that they can be proud of. I hope that they can look back and reflect on the children they were and launch themselves into the people they want to be.

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